How to built good habits in life

Focus on system

Goals are the result that we want to achieve but the system is about the process that leads to those results. If we fall into love with the process rather than the product, we don’t have to permit ourselves to be happy only with the result. We can enjoy the process then and always remain happy and satisfied. If the purpose is to win the game we may or maybe we may not achieve it but if the purpose is to play the game we will always achieve it. We all know which is more satisfactory in a long term. We restrict our entire happiness only to a particular thing when there are an infinite number of paths towards happiness that also come with success and satisfaction. We have to keep in mind that if we fix the input then the output will be fixed themselves.

Change Identity

There are three layers of habit:

Outcome-outermost-What we get

Process -middle one-What we do

Identity - core- What we believe

The greatest mistake we do while changing our habits is that we try to change the outcome (what we want to achieve) this leads toward outcome-based habit formation as once we reach a particular outcome we stop continuing that habit or if we are unable to reach there at some point we quit as we don’t get the desired result and think that particular good habit is not effective for us and thus is also non-sustainable as we start by focusing on who we wish to become.

Example-

Imagine two people are resisting cigarettes. When offered to smoke, the first person says, “no thanks, I am trying to quit”. It sounds like a fair response, but this person believes that he is a smoker and is trying to be someone else which creates a lot of friction. The second person Declines by saying. “ NO, thanks I’m not a smoker” It’s a small difference but this statement’s shift is a shift in identity, that smoking was part of their formal life, not their current one thus they have a mindset shift that will help them a lot as they are not avoiding(resisting) something but are adding something new to their life that is a lot easier as it reduces a lot of friction.

It also gives a kind of intrinsic motivation when a habit becomes part of our life. For example- if we are proud of how our hair looks, we'll develop all sorts of habits to care for them. I am asking you to change your identity as once our pride becomes part of it, you will put all your efforts to maintain your habit.

• The goal is not to read a book but to become a reader.
• The goal is not to run a marathon but to become a runner.
• The goal is not to score in the 90s but to become studious.

A two-step process to changing identity

Your habits are how you embody your identity. When you make your bed each day, you embody the identity of an organized person. When you train each day, you embody the identity of an athletic person. The more you repeat a behavior, the more you reinforce the identity associated with that behavior. Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the habits build up, so does the evidence of your new identity, this is one reason why meaningful change does not require radical change.

Just do this

• Decide the type of person you want to become
• Prove it to yourself by making small wins and just letting the compounding work for itself.

Change the environment

Despite our unique personalities, certain behaviors tend to arise again and again under certain environmental conditions. In church, people tend to talk in whispers. On a dark street, people act wary and guarded. In this way, the most common form of change is not internal, but external. We are changed by the world around us. Every habit is context-dependent. Supermarkets also use this strategy to sell products and they know that occasionally the customs will not buy what they want but will buy what they see and is presented in front of them. The truth is that many of the actions we take each day are not purpose-driven but are influenced by our surroundings.

Human beings have 11 million sensory receptors. approximately 10 million of them are dedicated to sight.

Any small positive or negative change that we make in our environment can impact a lot in the process of habit formation and then further sustain it for a long period.

There are many more examples of this like if we want to remember to take our medications we put them near our pillow and then almost we never forget to take them.

The point is that cues that spark a habit must be in front of our eyes so that they are not easy to ignore. Making a better decision is easy and natural when the cues for good habits are right in front of you. Environment design allows you to take back control and become the architect of your life. Be the designer of your world and not merely the consumer of it.

Make it obvious

Use what researchers refer to as an implementation intention, which is a plan you make beforehand about when and where to act. That’s how you intend to implement a particular habit. Take a notepad and write all habits that you want to implement and start one at a time.

We always tell ourselves that “I’m going to eat healthier” or “I am going to study more” but we never say when and where these habits are going to take place. We leave it up to chances that we will just remember to do it or we will do it when we feel motivated. We think that we are lacking motivation but the actual thing that we are lacking in clarity. Plan what you want to do a night before the upcoming day. Write in a simple and detailed way or just put a remainder for that in our smartphone.

The simple way of applying this is a strategy to your habits is to fill out this sentence:

I will (behavior) at (time) in (location).

For example, if I want to do meditation write that at 7 am after having a cup of coffee I will meditate for 5 minutes in the kitchen itself.

Give your habits a time and a space to live in the world. The goal is to make the time and location so obvious that, with enough repetition, you get an urge to do the right thing at the right time, even if you can’t say why and it will take a lot of time to reach this point so have patience.

Reduce friction

When and where you choose to insert a habit into your daily routine can make a big difference. If you’re trying to add meditation into your morning routine but mornings are chaotic and your kids keep running into the room then that may be the wrong place and time. Consider when you are most likely to be successful. Don’t ask yourself to do a habit when you’re likely to be occupied with something else.

Make it attractive

The more attractive the opportunity is, the more likely it is to become habit-forming. In this age of the internet, we have more forms of pleasure than ever. so it’s hard to resist bad habits and stick to good ones. So if we want to increase the odds that a behavior will occur, then we need to make it attractive. We have to create a dopamine-driven feedback loop Which is a key to experiencing the pleasure of a certain activity as without it the desire will die and without the desire, the action will stop and it will be an uphill task to sustain that habit as it will such a lot of our willpower. Desire is the engine that drives behavior. Every action is taken because of the anticipation that precedes it. It is the craving that leads to the response. So to increase the happening of behavior we have to do our favorite things at the same time. For example, it’s a lot more interesting to do gym exercises while listening to our favorite songs. In such a way you can make each habit more attractive so it will stick in your life for a longer period and will help to give a net-positive outcome.

You can also use the habit stacking formula to build a habit

“After (current habit), I will (new habit).”

for example :

• Exercise. After I take off my office clothes, I will immediately change into my workout clothes.
• Safety, After I get ready for college. I will text a friend or family member about which bus I am taking or how long will it take.

The key is to tie your desired behavior into something you already do each day. Once you have mastered this basic structure, you can begin to create larger stacks by chaining small habits together. This will allow us to take advantage of the natural momentum that comes from completing one behavior leading into the next (positive) habit.

Change your company

It is rightly said that “ A genius is not born, but is educated and trained.” With deliberate practice and the development of good habits, a person could become a genius in any field. In our childhood, we don’t choose our habits we just imitate them. We follow the script handed down by our friends and family, our temple or school, our local community, and society at large, Each of these cultures and groups comes with its own set of expectations and standards- when and whether to get married, how many children to have, which holidays to celebrate, In many ways, these social norms are the invisible rules that guide your behavior each day. You‘re always keeping them in mind, even if they are at the not top of your mind, Often, you follow the habits of your culture without thinking without questioning, and sometimes without remembering. So to stick with a habit, you have to change our company that can make our habits obvious as behaviors are attractive when they help us fit in.

We imitate the habits of three groups in particular:

• The close
• The many
• The powerful

As a general rule, the closer we are to someone, the more likely we are to imitate some of their habits. So one of the most effective things you can do to build better habits is to join a culture where your desired behavior is the normal behavior. When changing your habits means challenging the tribe, change is unattractive. When changing your habits means fitting in with the tribe, change is very attractive.

Have an accountability partner

The most interesting concept that I found in the book Atomic Habits (James Clear) is that it’s not possible to make good habits immediately rewarding but we can easily make bad habits immediately punishing. When the consequences are severe people learn quickly. The best way to do it is by having an accountability partner and signing a habit contract with him/her in which you state your commitment to a particular habit and the punishment that will occur if you don’t follow through.

The best way is to put money like you want to build a habit of waking up early every day make a habit contract that if on any day if you didn’t wake up at 5 am you will have to give 10 dollars to your partner. This will keep you in a fear of losing something good if you don’t do a specific task.

Don’t interrupt compounding

The first rule of compounding is to never interrupt it unnecessarily. Don’t put up a zero. Don’t let losses eat into your compounding. It is easy to train when you feel good but it’s crucial to show up when you don’t feel like it even if you do less than you hope. Going to the gym for 5 minutes may not improve your performance, but it reaffirms your identity.